Reminiscing About A Lost Friend

Ok, so I'm not feeling that great today. Had a scoot ride set up with a friend to go along the beach this morning when I just got violently sick to my stomach...scrubbed the ride. Then I was looking at pics friends had posted on Facebook when I came across my Bro Norm's pic in his daughter's album. The memories started flowing. Many of you know I owned a Tattoo/Piercing shop for 7 years in Lake Worth, FL. I was the piercer and my Bro, Norm, slung the ink. Norm was one of the smartest men I ever met. He only had an 8th grade education because he went to work with his Father (a machinist and master engraver, of which he became also) at the age of 13 to help support the family. His knowledge came from reading and he loved history. When ever he was idle at the shop he was reading. Anyway, things were really starting to move along and Norm and I were considering closing the shop down for a week and actually taking a vacation. I was working 10 hours a day in the shop and 8 hours on the graveyard shift at my nursing job. Norm would go into the shop at 10am and stay till whenever. As things started picking up, he'd be there sometimes until 2 or 3 in the morning. But he was always there until 10pm. The last night he worked he was doing a tat on a friend of my son's. I guess he was there until about 1am. His wife called me when I got home from work and said Norm had to be taken to the hospital. Now this was very odd cuz Norm was one of the toughest old bastards I've ever known! He NEVER complained about pain or being sick. Long story short on the way to Cat Scan Norm's heart stopped. They revived him which was not the best thing in the world as he was put on a ventilator. They rushed him to surgery. The doctor said he had an abdominal aortic aneurysm and a superior vena cava fistula. Rather than get in to a long explanation...let's just say things didn't look good at all. He had already lost one kidney due to lack of circulation to it and was on a vent. They said the surgery went fairly well giving us a ray of hope, only to be shattered by the other kidney shutting down requiring dialysis 3 times a week. Now he is still on a vent mind you. He is now unresponsive when he develops blood clots in his legs. We were told to decide what to do as it was pretty much a done deal now. So here I stand at the bedside of my best friend...my Bro...and along with his wife and family have to decide his fate. I was included in helping make the decision because we were like family. It's a very difficult to decide if someone will live or die in an abrupt manner. I had to make that decision with my Mom and now was reliving it with a guy I rode side by side with on our bikes, worked side by side with, a guy that gave me a roof over my head when my life was going down the shitter!!! What would Norm want? Well that was a stupid f*cking question! Norm would never want to live on some damn machine the rest of his life. Even if he ever did get off the vent, he'd always be on dialysis. The decision was right in front of us. His wife Diane was devastated! They had been together for 18 years when Norm finally asked her to be his wife. They were married not even a year when all this happened. The decision was made by us to remove the vent. They took him off life support and moved him from ICU to the Hospice floor of the Hospital. It's funny in a way because I started my nursing career in that same ICU unit as a CNA. I lost a girl I went to nursing school with in that same ICU bed my Bro was in because she was hit by a drunk driver. So we are up on the floor and the nursing staff is absolutely AWESOME to us! We were allowed to stay with him until the end. It was heartbreaking to say the least and to see his wife Diane deal with his death was terrible. She loved him so much....we all did. So here's to you Bro! You are greatly missed. I think about you always! Here's a pic of Norm that will show his every day attitude! GOD I MISS HIM!




And here's the poem I wrote when we were in the midst of deciding his fate. The pic is of him and I at his wedding. I was his best man and happy he was finally making an honest woman of Diane!!!!




Thanks to all that took the time to read my memories.

I'm not even gonna try to lie and say that didn't bring tears to my eyes. Hold onto to those great memories Duff, peace to you this day.

Duff so sorry you don't feel well...I am so sorry about the loss of your bro...its very hard and the pain really never goes away. I know the feeling all too well losing my first cousin who was my older brother. We dont know why our loved ones are taken too soon but its always a great thing to share their memories especially the good one and that is how i go on every single day. I celebrate his life and that always puts a smile on my face. His B-day just passed last week and it was very difficult for all of us. Keep your head up brutha and just keep the great memories in your heart. Call me if you need to talk brutha...

Thanks Guys. You know it's been 6 1/2 years since Norm died. I still miss his friendship more than I can say. He was my Best Friend, my Brother, my Mentor. I could only wish to have accomplished all the things he had in his 56 years. To watch him put a piece of metal on a engraving ball and end up with Old Skool Engraving was freakin awesome. Him and Diane put a roof over my head when my life was spiraling out of control and asked for NOTHING in return! That's what friends do for each other. I wonder how many of us have those kind of friends. I'm sure not many. Friendships like those are to be cherished.

You are a good friend Duff!

The death of someone that close to you is the worst part of life.

porschefan wrote:

The death of someone that close to you is the worst part of life.

It's true Tim, it's like losing a part of yourself.

All we got, when it's our time to go, is the impact we make on other peoples lives. Some people will be forgotten, others like your Bro will be remembered. Says a lot about the kind of person he was....(and you are).

Duff,

The blessing is that he was your friend, because as you said not many have friends like that in their lives.

-Robert

Hahaha, yeah Gary....dirtbag bikers like Norm and I stood shoulder to shoulder every day! Datz wutweedoo! He had a huge impact on my life.

And that's very true Robert, I was blessed to have him as a friend....

. . . What you got from your true friend, is exactly what you have given back to all of us Duff.

You always have a kind word . . . in your own indelible manner . . . and today you shared with us a tear.

Thanks Duff. And remember, he was lucky to have you as well . . . . Randy.

WOW, 2nd thread i've read today and dont really feel like talking about watches right now!! Tough call and i've been throught it with my cousin and best friend (more like brothers) a few years ago in a burn center in fresno ca.! We came to the same desicion that day and knew john wouldnt want to live like that! god bless you duff, youre a great friend! I try to focus on all the good memories but i sure miss that phone call every couple days!

Very touching story. You are blessed to have such great memories of your brother.

It's tough to lose someone close to you, a friend or brother.. I think of all the great times I had working with my younger brother John

Don't know what to say, be strong and you are an amazing friend....

barnbuilder1 wrote:

It's tough to lose someone close to you, a friend or brother.. I think of all the great times I had working with my younger brother John

Even though we move on and the pain isn't as bad....life isn't the same without them.

Duff, my heart goes out to you with all of this. It was very emotional
reading that post and poem of yours. You did such a great job of giving
us a glimpse at your friendship and I want to say thank you for that.
As well as say that your friendship lasts forever through all of the
memories you have of him. This is something to treasure and be very
grateful for ! Thanks for sharing this with us Duff, and know that we
are here for you !

Thanks Tom. It's funny, you'd think after 6 1/2 years it wouldn't be so fresh in my brain. There are few people that have been as good a friend as Norm was to me. A lot of great memories.

bodypeersur1 wrote:

Thanks Tom. It's funny, you'd think after 6 1/2 years it wouldn't be so fresh in my brain. There are few people that have been as good a friend as Norm was to me. A lot of great memories.

No problem sir ! Hopefully those great memories are the one's you
will eventually remember the most !

Hey Duff, I read that at work like I wasn't supposed to and cried like a baby. I miss him more than words can say, he was my life along with Alisha. When Norm died it ripped my heart out and I can tell you now I will NEVER love someone that way again. I have been very blessed to have wonderful friends like you and Sri. You will always be my friend, my best friend! That was the most touching thing I've ever read! I love you with all my heart, what's left of it.

All My Love Always,
Diane

Duff, you are an amazing man! The poem you wrote for Norm is incredible and very touching to say the least! You and Norm shared a very special bond that I dare say many people in this world would never have the opportunity to do. As I've always told my kids, You can have all the money in the world but if you don't have family and friends, it doesn't mean a thing!" I have a friend who is to me what Norm is to you and I rue the day this happens to me! We've been together since junior high when we first met and played baseball together. It's friends like these that make our lives better than what they ever could be.
I'm sorry for your loss but you're right, you two will ride once again, of that I'm confident! Thanks for sharing such a personal moment with us. You're a good man and you know what you mean to me and I'm sure Norm has had something to do with that as well.
Take care brother and if I can do anything for you, please call me!

I admire you for your stength Brother and I am sure you know how blessed you are. Hope you are feeling better now. You meant just as much to him and he is proud of you.

enaid128 wrote:

Hey Duff, I read that at work like I wasn't supposed to and cried like a baby. I miss him more than words can say, he was my life along with Alisha. When Norm died it ripped my heart out and I can tell you now I will NEVER love someone that way again. I have been very blessed to have wonderful friends like you and Sri. You will always be my friend, my best friend! That was the most touching thing I've ever read! I love you with all my heart, what's left of it.

All My Love Always,
Diane

Gents, let me introduce Diane...Norm's wife. Thanks for the kind words Di. You know how much Norm, you and Alisha mean to me. It was good therapy for me to post that yesterday. Norm was my freakin Bro and I miss the shit out of him!

enaid128 wrote:

Hey Duff, I read that at work like I wasn't supposed to and cried like a baby. I miss him more than words can say, he was my life along with Alisha. When Norm died it ripped my heart out and I can tell you now I will NEVER love someone that way again. I have been very blessed to have wonderful friends like you and Sri. You will always be my friend, my best friend! That was the most touching thing I've ever read! I love you with all my heart, what's left of it.

All My Love Always,
Diane

Hello Diane,
I am so sorry for your loss and words cannot be enough. I know how it is to lose a loved one too soon.Welcome to XMT and Glad you joined us here. Duff is a great guy and blessed to have you and Norm in his life. We have a bunch of great people here and we have a blast discussing our passion for watches.

Hello Diane...

You and Duff shared a great friend and now share a great friendship and memories....

Hold onto them and continue to stay strong for eachother...

Alan

I can't say enough about Duff, he's always been there for me when I needed advise or a shoulder to cry on. Thank you all for all the wonderful comments, Norm was an amazing man! Duff...so are you! All my love my friend!

It was nice to read this. I had a good buddy, Dave pass away about 4 years ago, and at the time I could only deal with the immediate reaction emotions. But just a few weeks ago his older brother Brian released his album that was inspired by Dave's last few weeks on earth. Listening to it made me cry, of course, but also brought back so many great memories and that uplifted me. The hardest part is to listen to it without Dave cuz I know he would've loved it too!

Anyway, just saying sometimes a loved one's passing takes on a whole new meaning to life as time goes by. Love is timeless like that...

Duff and Diane, so sorry for your loss. Just think of the great party you can all have when you see each other again in Heaven. Stay well!

I dont really know what to say, Duff. I`ve been crying like a little
baby for the last 15minutes and tears are still rolling down my face as
I write this. I`m so sorry for the loss of your best friend, Duff.
There are some people that just become instant friends in life, someone you just connect with you know.
I guess you`re lucky since you had one, even though it must hurt like hell to see him go.
Now I havent known you for all that long, but you`re someting special man. You made me feel so
welcome when I first joined here and if you can make someone feel so
welcome over the internet, I can only imagine what kind of a friend you
are in real life. You`re a great guy, Duff and Norm sounds just like you.
I really appriciate your friendship and openes, and thanks for sharing this.

Thanks to everyone for sharing in my memories of a freakin awesome guy. I miss him very much. I've lived in Florida for over 30 years and he was the BEST FRIEND I have ever had since moving here. His death devastated me. We worked, rode and played side by side for over 7 years. Thanks to all of you again and thanks for welcoming Diane. She's just as awesome as Norm! And Norm, if you're listenin....Via con dios Bro....see you when I take my Last Big Ride!!!

Duffy....you know how I feel about you......I hope we all can get ya to smile a little bit today.
Hello Diane....I've know Duff for just a couple of years now and as you said ....He really is
a great guy. I'm lucky to know him and call him friend. I hope you will stick around
and lets us get to know you also....we can always use more friends!

Hahaha, I don't even think Diane has a watch!!!! LMAO!!!! Let's see if we can convert her!!!!

Duker, I don't plan on going anywhere, not just yet anyway! I'm so touched with all the wonderful comments that all you guys have put on here, it's so touching to hear such wonderful things about a man that you didn't know. Norm would have been touched by this too! Duff, Wolfie read what you wrote and would like to add you as a friend on FB, so look him up. He had heart surgery today so please say a prayer for him. Thanks again for the wonderful comments!